I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
