Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
