sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No subtext here. People are naked.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
