In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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