You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize