one two three fourrrrnication!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize