He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
