im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
