when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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