My nipple is on Facebook.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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