i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
