just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
