Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
