He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
