I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
