Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
