I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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