dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
