thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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