Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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