I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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