She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
These tits shall not be calmed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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