Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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