We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
