i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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