so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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