so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
