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I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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