in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
