last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
