Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
