I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
