I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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