this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
