Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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