using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
