I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
