my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize