I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
