just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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