I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
