I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
