so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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