gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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