I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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