Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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