a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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