Its about making memories worth repressing
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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