Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
