Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
