The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
