I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
