You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
