Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
third nipple confirmed
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
