he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
