I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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