its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
